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I’d tighten my fist, my nails piercing my skin, hard, until I’d bleed, hating myself, hating my life, though no one ever noticed the cuts. Why was I cursed like this? I didn’t know, I’d never know. I knew I could never have you, that there would always be a wall between us, a wall that only I could see. Each time you visited, part of me wanted to hide, it hurt so much to see you. But I couldn’t help it. I loved you so much.One day you brought back a girlfriend. I figured you’d be getting busy in college but knowing for certain made it so much worse. I could hear you fucking through the walls, could hear the bedsprings straining and swaying, could hear you both trying to stifle the sounds of your sex as she moaned your name, Thomas, Tommy harder, faster, more, more, more. All I could think was that that should have been me in your bed. Me, feeling your head against my opening, poised to be my first, a gift that I’d never even considered giving to another man. Me, resting down on your. I started to read dating ads. I read pages and pages... all men... but then I found her. "Red Riding Hood looking for The Wolf"She was 28, divorced, and beautiful...I created a profile lying about my age (27, guilty!) and we start to chatting.The chat went hot straight away. I masturbated that night and the following nights too... She asked for a picture to see me... I made excuses to let my beard grow and finally I send a picture of myself. In return, I got a picture of her naked... oh boy... beautiful woman... blonde, skinny, fit, big boobs, nice ass, blue eyes and very sexy...We were from different cities. 200 miles away and no car.I invented that I have a conference there to attend (I even got the real thing to convince my parents and her...)The trip was 2 weeks away, planning to stay there for 5 days.We kept chatting about how the meeting should be: - should we kiss each other fast to break the ice?- should we meet in a public place? at her house? - how we should dress up?We will.
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